I am a long time fan of The Bachelorette and this season I had so much to celebrate. I’ve been loving every minute of Rachel Lindsay’s action packed quest to find Mr. Right! This girl is major goals – and wifey material! I watched her leave Nick’s season heartbroken so I was thrilled when I learned that the charming 32 year-old attorney would bless Bachelor fans everywhere by starting her own journey to find love! While we all can’t be introduced to 30 dashing suitors, vying for our affection, we all deserve the same type of loving relationship Rachel is hoping to find.
For the everyday girl, Rachel’s fairy tale dates and scenic blimp rides are out of reach, but that doesn’t mean we can’t dream. With all of the drama that went down this season, there’s a lot to digest as viewers. Rachel’s journey to find love has been far from perfect and this is something girls everywhere can relate to! My love life is *under construction* but I feel I’ve learned more about what I’m looking for in a relationship after watching this season. That being said here are 6 Real Loves Lessons for Real Girls, from The Bachelorette.
Don’t Waste Time on the F__Boys Because Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That!
Some guys are dishonest and will lie to your face just so you’ll give them the chance to get to know you (I’m looking at you DeMario!). If a guy has another girlfriend – I don’t care how “casual” their relationship is – that makes you the side chick. And you are way too pretty and valuable to be the side chick! Guys like this may insist that they’ll “change” but this is about as likely as Whaboom being the next Bachelor. Relationships that are built on honesty and trust are the ones that stand the test of time. The person you’re dating should never see another person on the side and then have the nerve to lie about it. If your man can’t keep it real and treat you like the queen you are its time to move on! Boy Bye!
If There’s Not a Connection, Don’t Force One!
There is such a thing as natural chemistry, and I’m not talking reactions and molecules. I’m talking authentic, electric chemistry that makes you want to be around that special someone. Some people just get along great together and other’s don’t. If you’re with someone and you’ve been on a few dates but you’re still not feeling it – ahem Fred – then it might be time to cut things off. It’s not worth it to stick around to spare their feelings, it’s always best to respect their time and let them down easy! Also if someone set the two of you up, don’t force things for their sake – some people just aren’t good match makers! Don’t be like Rachel and wait for a horrible kiss to confirm that there’s nothing between you two, wisen up and get out before a sloppy slobber fest ensues!
Understand That a Person’s Past Doesn’t Define Their Future!
Some of the guys this season had been through a lot! I definitely broke out my tissues more often than normal! However, it’s important to realize that Rachel accepted these men despite the events of their past. Eric and Dean have both dealt with great challenges in their lives but they are both upstanding men who have lots of affection to give. People change and it’s so important to focus on the person in front of you in a relationship – not the person they were five years ago. Not everyone’s life is rose-y and if you’re willing to embrace the present you’re sure to connect with some great people. Understanding is key to this lesson and you should give people a chance to show you how the events of their past have shaped them into who they are today! Have an open mind and an open heart and love will find its way into your life.
Don’t Deny Your Right to Be Loved
Every time Rachel tells Brian that he’s “too good to be true” I shake my head. Brian is clearly a great guy and Rachel is too caught up believing that she couldn’t have found someone so wonderful that she can’t see how much he cares for her. If you find an amazing guy and your relationship seems like a fairytale, then roll with it! Do not self-sabotage because you think you’re destined to have a mediocre love life! If you meet your Prince Charming greet the relationship and all of its perks with a smile. The right person for you is out there and it would be a shame to lose them because you doubt your own capacity for love!
Understand That Some People Have Ulterior Motives
It was clear early on that guys like Whaboom and Lee might not have been on the show for the right reasons. We may never know whether or not Whaboom genuinely auditioned for the Bachelorette to promote his own foolish brand but it’s clear that Lee was not there to find love with Rachel. In your own relationships make sure the person is dating you because they love you and want to spend as much time with you as possible. No one should date you to get back at their ex, to show you off to their friends and family or simply just to say that they’re in a relationship. You should be able to spot ulterior motives from a mile away because the person will be more concerned with the superficial aspects of the relationship than with cherishing you. If you’re feeling undervalued and suspect that someone’s not actually into you, but rather into the idea of you, it’s time to split.
Listen to Your Gal Pal Girl Gang – Sometimes!
The episode where Rachel brought her friends in was iconic. The gals from Nick’s season are friendship goals and it was great to see them back together to support Rachel’s efforts to find love. If you have questions about the person you’re dating check in with your friends because they know and love you. Chances are they’ll be able to spot red flags a mile away and send the bad apples packing! However, only listen to people who truly know your heart and soul because these are the only people fit to make judgments about your love life! Acquaintances and fake friends have no business decoding your love life! It’s worth noting that you should only ask for other people’s opinions when you have specific concerns, if you constantly take advice from others you risk turning your relationship into an open forum.
That’s it from me today loves! I hope this post helps you get out there and seek the beautiful passionate love life you deserve. Whether you’re looking for a fling or a ring take these lessons with you to guard your heart!